


If You Only Knew

by starshi



Category: Naruto
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Humor, Bratty Kakashi, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Heterochromia, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Step-parents, Swimming, Swimming Pools, Time Skips, Young!Kakashi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-10
Updated: 2015-12-10
Packaged: 2018-05-06 00:53:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5396705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starshi/pseuds/starshi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(AU) In which Kakashi is a (bratty) teen with a deep fear of water, and Iruka is a swimming instructor at the local pool.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If You Only Knew

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time I've written such a large chunk of fic; so please pardon any mistakes. A large thank you goes out to Morgaine, who took the time to beta this thing! Your help was and still is greatly appreciated!  
> Also, considering this (fragment of a) story is based on a roleplay with my dear Liv, you could consider her the co-author. People who know me know that she has been my dearest Iruka for years and years now, and I could not wish for any other Iruka in my lifetime.  
> Cheesiness aside, this was written for a very special matter, so...  
> Happy Birthday, Liv.

\----------------

 

 

He was too young. Far too young to understand, to grasp the ' _why'..._ to simply move on.

He couldn't. His heart couldn't; he was young, maybe naive, but his heart? It was a strong one, and it loved deeply. Maybe too deeply.

 

  


\----------------

  


 

Kakashi hated the water. He would never admit to it, but it downright scared him. He feared that if he got too close, its claws would take a fierce grip at his ankles and pull him under, filling up his lungs and forcefully stealing his breath away under its clear, seemingly innocent surface, and there would be nothing he could do about it. Thinking about it made him feel heavy and stressed; like it had woken something he had repressed for far too long in his, admittedly short, life.

He was thirteen, and it was yet another boring afternoon at the swimming pool. The air was permeated with the smell of chlorine, and Kakashi sighed. He never wanted to come, but his step-dad always insisted on him tagging along when they took their newborn to the swimming lessons held at the local pool. And Kakashi didn't like it one bit.

Seemingly busy and detached, he had always flopped down on a deck chair, usually the one furthest to the back, fully clothed, and he had always brought something to distract him from his boredom. Most of the time, it was video games or comic books, and he'd lost count of how many times he had finished them already.

And he sighed. His dad would always gently ask him to 'try', but not once had he stepped closer to the water as absolutely necessary. His step-mom wasn't as gentle -- more often than not she had put up a fight and argued with him, her short temper shining through, but Kakashi had always found a way to dismiss the idea of going anywhere close to the unnerving liquid blue.

Thankfully, today had not been one of these days where they bothered him about it, and Kakashi peeked over the corner of his book to observe the cause of the constant noise coming from the pool: little kids and their parents alike, lots of laughter, lots of splashing noises that managed to make him feel slightly uncomfortable if they were too loud, and in the midst, he saw a tiny blond tuft of hair. Naruto was so unlike him-- he loved the water. Was that why his parents loved him so much...?

Kakashi frowned and stared back at the pages of his book. How stupid. They loved him because he was their real child. Unlike...

"Hey,", a deep voice interrupted his thoughts, made him flinch just slightly, and Kakashi looked up. The local swimming instructor had approached and knelt down before him, obviously eyeing him closely. Kakashi frowned and stared back; this guy never talked to him, but he had seen him talk to his dad a lot. From what he understood, his dad and this guy had been friends for a long time already, and it was him -- Iruka was his name, wasn't it -- who had suggested the accompanied swimming lessons for Naruto. He'd been sure to emphasize that babies and little kids loved water.

Kakashi pouted. To hell with that.

"You're Minato's kid, right?" The man continued, and Kakashi still stared at him, withstanding the prying brown eyes and awaiting the question that he concluded would definitely follow, his mind already weaving a clear, but silent ' _no._ '

"What is it you're reading there?"

Kakashi faltered and he couldn't help but blurt out a surprised "What?", his frown easing up. Iruka smiled and pointed at the comic book.

"That book you're reading. What is it?" He repeated in a slightly amused tone, and Kakashi shook his head, his frown making yet another appearance while he tried, unsuccessfully, to hide the book from Iruka's sight.

"What do you care," he grumbled and turned away, still staring at Iruka. "You should go back and make sure that none of the babies drown."

Iruka laughed. "They won't. I'm pretty sure their parents will prevent that from happening without me watching them all the time." A curious gaze accompanied this sentiment, as well as a smile, and Kakashi looked away. What did this guy want, anyway?

"Your name is Kakashi, right?" This was asked in alower, calmer voice, and the eyes of the addressed flickered back to the source of the hum. There was a silence as their gazes met once more, but before Kakashi could blurt out yet another, more annoyed ' _What!,_ ' Iruka spoke up again.

"Don't you want to join them? You're always looking when you think nobody will notice."

Kakashi gaped at him, his temper flaring up again, and his frown was deeper than ever.

"Shut up. That's not true,“ he muttered, turning his head away once again. _Who do you think you are?,_ he added in his mind. "I don't even want to be here, so leave me alone."

Probably amused by the sheer boldness of the young boy, Iruka chuckled and breathed a low, "Alright, alright," as he got back up on his feet. "But if you change your mind, let me know."

With that, he left. Of course, Kakashi was annoyed. But in the glimpse of a second, Kakashi had noticed something -- a dark, tiny something from beneath Iruka's right sleeve had caught his gaze.

And his curiosity was piqued.

  


 

\----------------

  


 

"No."

Minato sighed. "No matter what I say, this is always your answer, huh...?" He laughed a little shyly. Kakashi, however, simply turned away and went to his room -- and Minato was at a loss. There was a part of him that urgently wanted to know why Kakashi was so afraid of water and a part of him thought that maybe he could find out or even take this fear away if he just took him to a pool and showed him how much fun Naruto had in the water. If he just showed him that there was nothing to be afraid of, maybe he could even convince him to take swimming lessons.

Minato sighed once more and sunk into the armchair that had been occupied by a young, silver haired boy just seconds before. He yawned and rubbed his eyes a little, blinking a couple of times before eyeing the ceiling of the living room. This was one of his rare days off, and he decided to spend it trying to break the ice between the boy and himself. Not the brightest idea, Minato thought, but nonetheless, it was a crucial step, especially because he still found himself tensing up whenever he saw Kakashi. Sighing once more, he put a palm over his own eyes, pressing it against his forehead and swallowing.

Not too long ago, Kakashi had a place he could call ' _home_ '. Not too long ago, he had a real father. And this thought alone was killing Minato inside, slowly, painfully. And there was no way to make it stop.

"No use to delve into this right now", he whispered to himself, removing his palm and shaking his head, wiping a small, stealthy tear away.

Minato got up, and with determined steps he approached the door of Kakashis room, knocked twice, and finally found his voice again.

"Kakashi, pack up your stuff. We're leaving in ten."

  


 

\----------------

  


 

Another day, another boring two hours at the pool, and the boy's frown was as deep as ever.

This time around, he had even moved his lounger so he would be facing the walls instead of the pool, trying to avoid eye contact with anyone and anything. He had brought along a handheld gaming console, and was set out to beat his own highscores -- again. So far, his tactics had worked; nobody had come up to him and asked him to join them or to put his game aside so that he could at least watch. Yet.

Kakashi huffed. Good. All of them should just leave him alone. They may force him to come along, but nobody could force him to set one foot inside that damned pool.

  


 

\----------------

  


 

"Why do you insist on him coming along, Minato?" Kushina's voice was low, but loud enough for Minato to understand. He was managing Naruto, making sure he wouldn't sink, and the baby was chirping and cooing in pure joy, causing a proud smile to appear on Minato's lips.

"Because", he started, tickling the baby a little and laughing when Naruto did the same, "I want him to see that water is nothing to be afraid of."

Kushina rolled her eyes. "You're such a goody two-shoes," she replied, getting closer to the two. "But I guess that's why I love you so much." She looped her arms around her husband's belly and huddled closer to him. It was when one strand of fire red hair went loose and dipped into the water that Minato turned around to her, smiling, and tugging said strand away behind her ear, stroking her cheek a little while still holding the -- suddenly still -- Naruto with his other arm.  
"That's the only reason?,"He asked, a smile tugging on his lips.

"Of course," she retorted bluntly. "Or do you have other qualities? Never seen 'em."

"So cruel."

"Always."

Naruto started wiggling in Minato's arm, blurting out a "Da!", and both tiny hands were pointed at the clear blue surface but grabbing the air, and the lovers started laughing.

"Our sons are quite the opposites, don't you think?", Minato asked, letting Naruto dip further into the water, and the baby chirped once more, tiny legs paddling in an excited manner. Kushina watched him, pensively rubbing her own arm, a voiceless sigh escaping her lips.

"Kakashi is quite... difficult, yes," She replied, almost carefully.

"So is Naruto at three in the morning."

"Well aren't you biased", Kushina hissed, but Minato immediately raised one hand, trying to calm her down.

"No, I'm sorry. I didn't want to start a fight. It's just--"

' _You still can't call him your son, can you?_ ' The words were frmed his mind, but he couldn't speak them out loud. He knew the answer all too well.

Minato sighed. "No, nevermind."

His wife frowned at him. "You're difficult too sometimes, you know that?" She mumbled while nudging him with her elbow, and Minato let out a shy chuckle.

  


FIfty-thousand two-hundred thirty-two. Kakashi sighed and turned off the console. New highscores were never as satisfying if you were only competing against yourself. He leaned back and sunk into the lounger, changing changing the angle of the back so that he could actually lie down, and closed his eyes.

This was so boring, and he was still wondering each and every time why they just couldn't leave him back at home. If he wanted to waste time, he could do that at home just as well. He shifted a little. At home, he wouldn't have to deal with these irritating amounts of people and water, either.

For a moment, Kakashi thought he heard steps but discarded the thought just as quickly. The pool was so noisy, no wonder he would start hearing things. Only when a feisty droplet of water found its way to his forehead -- and Kakashi almost jumped out of the chair – did he open his eyes, and stare at a tanned, grinning face.

"Beauty sleep?" Iruka asked, and Kakashi was in an upright position faster than his body anticipated. His neck cracked a little painfully, and he flinched, but he kept staring at the sudden intruder. So it really _was_ steps.

"Woah, calm down. I didn't mean to startle you," Iruka chortled and leaned back away from Kakashi once again, wiping a wet strand of hair out of his face.  
"Right," Kakashi spat out ironically while hastily wiping the water out of his face. He didn't buy it. This must have been another well-intended attempt to get him into the water, and the young boy frowned deeply.

After studying him for a long moment, Iruka's grin widened.  
"Oh, what are you playing?" He asked, obviously eyeing the handheld console, and Kakashi stared at him a little blankly.

So nosy.

"None of your business," he retorted immediately; if Kakashi was a cat, his fur would definitely be bristled in the most amusing way right now. Seeing as Iruka's grin didn't leave his lips, he must have been thinking the same, and it was infuriating for Kakashi not to be taken seriously like this.

"Oh, but I think it is," Iruka finally said, his grin fading slowly. "This is my pool, and you have come here a couple of times by now. You never put even a foot in the water -- which is kind of what pools are for, no? So I think it is very much my business why you are here and what you are doing here, young man."

Kakashi couldn't help but go pale -- even paler than he already was -- and he swallowed.

"I'm not here because I want to," he replied, his voice unusually weak and low. He was usually bolder, wasn't he?

"I know," Iruka replied simply, his expression softening again. "And I'm not forcing you to do anything you don't want to do. All I ask for is a little less of this attitude."

Kakashi frowned, and Iruka couldn't help but chuckle as he tugged a loose strand away once more.

"They're not taking you along because they want to anger or annoy you, you know?", He finally said, smiling at the boy once more before he left for the pool again.

And as weird and uncomfortable as this situation had been -- this time, Kakashi could see it. There was a tattoo on this man's arm, and he'd failed to hide it completely.

How oddly fascinating.

  


 

\----------------

  


 

' _Umino Iruka (24), professional swimmer. Specialty: Butterfly. Retired._ '

Kakashi's fingertips drummed against his desk, his chin loosely resting on a hand, eyes browsing the computer screen -- his mind, however, was far from rest as it cataloged and assimilated the information. He was glad that he had been given an old laptop by Minato, even though he was restricted to only use it for two hours a day tops. His finger stopped, and he made a low ' _plop_ ' sound with his lips, still lost in thoughts while reading the given info again.

' _Retired._ '

A quick move with his mouse and some fast clicks later, the computer loaded up galleries and pictures of the person in question, and Kakashi muttered a low "Nothing" while eyeing one particular picture; it was a shot from the top, broad and toned shoulders tensed, water splashing all over Iruka's lower back and his head, his arms spread wide open in preparation for the next stroke. It was merely a snapshot, maybe three or four years old, and Kakashi didn't particularly care for the surroundings or the photographic quality, as his eyes were fixated on the swimmer's right arm.

"There's nothing."

  


 

\----------------

  


 

The next time they went to the pool, Kakashi didn't even object. He just frowned, as usual -- and Minato wondered if he was even capable of smiling anymore after all the mean faces he'd gotten so used to showing -- and then Kakashi nodded, and went to pack his stuff. No matter the circumstances, Minato couldn't help but stare blankly after him. He was worried.

  


"So how was school?" Kushina asked, breaking the awkward silence while they were in the car, which was typically only disturbed by chattering noises from Naruto every now and then, and the rather old engine rustling underneath.

"Good," Kakashi simply retorted, staring outside.

" _Good_ he says," Kushina repeated after him, turning to Minato, who was driving the car and obviously just hoping for some peace of mind after two long shifts in a row -- in fact, he had only gotten home a few hours ago -- and a fragile smile was shaping her lips. " **Good he says!** Minato, did you hear?!"

"He's not _deaf_ , unlike _you,_ " Kakashi hissed from the back seat, burying his chin even further into a palm as hell broke loose.

"I can **see** how **good** it was! How could this happen? I called your homeroom teacher and she said..."

"My homeroom teacher is full of incompetence," Kakashi interrupted her bluntly, and that was when Kushina couldn't stop yelling anymore. Minato was trying to calm her down -- while still driving and trying not to hit a tree with all the fuss and commotion next to him -- and Naruto, at last, while staring at his mother in sheer terror, started to cry out loud, big tears streaming down his little face.

"You're even scaring your own kid," Kakashi snapped once more, seemingly deaf to the screaming and yelling. It was frustrating, he got that, and it was just as frustrating for her and them and anyone as it was for him, but screeching never solved a thing.

"Okay, enough," Minato finally spoke up loudly as he had pulled into a side street and stopped the car. Both Kushina and Naruto fell silent, Naruto a second afterwards, the sudden silence surprising him out of his fit. Minato had never been the one to raise his voice, but he felt that it was necessary right now, and even Kakashi winced when Minato turned around.

"Kakashi, you mustn't speak to Kushina that way, nor should you insult your teacher like that. It's unfair, and you know it." He spoke, his stern-for-once face already softening up again with something that Kakashi couldn't quite grasp yet. Minato often looked at him in a way he couldn't understand, but right now, there was something different in Minato's expression. Was it concern?

"We will talk about all of this later when we're back home. In a reasonable volume and manner. For now, we're already late to Naruto's class, and I don't want him to miss out on it, regardless the circumstances. Okay?"

Silence ensued, and Minato slowly nodded after a moment.

"Good. We're almost there," he concluded quietly, eyes back on the road and the engine coughing and droning beneath them.

  


 

\----------------

  


 

"A _shiner?_ "

Iruka's voice was a mere whisper, but Minato understood him anyway, regardless of the noise around them. Kushina and Naruto were already in the pool, and while her expression was still darkened, she began lightening up a little when tiny Naruto began chirping and paddling around.

"Yeah," Minato sighed, scratching the back of his head. "He's quite headstrong. Rubs a lot of people up the wrong way, I guess."

"Huh,“ Iruka breathed the word out, quietly looking over to the slender form that was Kakashi, who almost seemed to hide inside the lounger today. So that's why he had been hiding his face when they arrived.

"Guess he's not built to fight back?", Iruka inquired, a hand dropping to rest on his right hip, and Minato let out an indignant moan.

"I don't want him to get into a fight or beat people up, either! It's bad enough as it is."

"I guess."

Nonetheless, Iruka was impressed. So this bold attitude he displayed, it wasn't just for putting up a show, and the swimmer could only imagine how the other boys near his age were built. Kakashi was particularly slender and petite, although he was quite tall for his age. The thought alone of him insulting well-built and older teens at his school inevitably made Iruka smile, if not laugh. He remembered when he was his age -- he was never the tallest, but he had always fought back, verbally in some cases, but mostly physically. He'd gotten into fights quite frequently when he was younger, and although this never really stopped, those occasions became rarer the more involved he'd gotten into his training... and his career.

The smile slowly faded as Iruka's gaze went astray; he was gone, far away for a moment, and only when Minato spoke up, did he blink and snap out of it.

"… if it's not too much of a bother."

"What?" Iruka asked, and Minato blinked twice.

"I asked if you could talk to him. If it's not too much of a bother."

"Oh."

Iruka rubbed the back of his head.

"Because that worked so well in the past," he added, grinning a little. Minato sighed.

"Please."

Iruka hesitated. Wasn't this what parents were for?

 _As if he could tell_.

"I'll give it a shot." It was an almost automated reply, and Minato put a hand on Iruka's shoulder for a moment.

"Thanks, pal. I owe you one."

"Five by now." Minato nudged him with an elbow, and Iruka laughed.

  


 

\----------------

  


 

It was a throbbing, almost bone-deep pain, but it was bearable. It had to be.

Kakashi was curled up on the lounger, nose buried deep inside a book, but he wasn't really reading. So many things had happened, and he was quietly processing all of it. His eye hurt, a little swollen and runny even, but he'd endure it. It wasn't his fault that some people couldn't take the truth. Besides... he wasn't in the wrong. They were stupid assholes, just out to diss other, smaller kids and steal their lunch and money, and Kakashi was sick of just watching. More often than not he had kept his mouth shut when those two giant jerks had been bullying others, but today he'd spoke up.

Lesson learned? Yeah. He couldn't teach anything to apes, apparently.

He growled lowly. How could the **victim** , _of all people_ , defend his aggressors? It was beyond him. Was he _that_ scared of them? How spineless. And at the end of the day, it looked like Kakashi was the bad guy. _Of course_.

He was well aware of his figure, and for anyone to spend a second just _thinking_ that a weakling like him would even think of provoking the two bullies of the school without a proper reason was simply absurd. They were all so _stupid_ , and it was this stupidity that was almost unbearable. It was worse than a black eye or the pain that came along with it.

Without noticing, he had buried his fingernails into the book, crumpling the soft comic binding a little, and he growled once more.

Stupid. _Stupid_ . _They're all so stupid_ . How can they _stand_ being so stupid?

And on top of all of that, he still felt a little heavy. He'd not forgotten Minato's outburst -- he'd never seen him this agitated. Kushina, sure, she was a clockwork bomb, blowing up every once in a while. But Minato...

Kakashi's brows furrowed, and he swallowed; but as a shadow approached him, he looked up – right into a tanned face -- and quickly turned his head away again. What did _he_ want now?

"Hey Kakashi," Iruka spoke, his steps slowing down, keeping a considerable distance to the teenager. "How do you feel? Is your eye alright?"

Kakashi bit his lip. So he noticed or Minato told him -- it didn't matter. What he needed least right now was another lecture, that much was for sure.

"I'm fine," he replied, still not looking up.

"You know," Iruka countered, inhaling deeply before reaching out for another lounger that was nearby. Kakashi panicked a little at that motion; he didn't mean to stay, did he?

"When I was younger, I used to get into fights quite often." Iruka spoke as he sat down onto the lounger, looking around a little before focusing the teen again. Kakashi couldn't help but stare when Iruka leaned forward in the chair, bracing his arms on his legs. The motion revealed another flash of the tattoo just at the edge of where he'd pushed up his long sleeves, and Kakashi found himself leaning forward to match Iruka to try to get a better view of it.

"But unlike you, I wasn't good with words." The swimmer smiled now, and Kakashi looked away.

"It wasn't a fight." It was an almost shy reply, and he finally closed the book, putting it aside.

"Oh?" His voice was surprised, and Iruka leaned back. "What was it, then?"

"Did Minato ask you to talk to me?"

Iruka laughed. "Nah. I just asked him about your blue face, is all."

Kakashi pouted, brows furrowing again. _Nosy_.

Silence wrapped around them, and only the splashing of the pool and the chatter interrupted it in just the slightest way. Hazel eyes were focused on Kakashi, and it took Iruka a moment to speak up again.

"You know," Iruka started, looking up, eyes wandering around aimlessly. "You're a smart kid, and you don't get involved into things like that without a reason, I'm sure. The two goofballs over there in the pool are worrying about you, though, and I doubt anyone but you knows the why and the how about what actually happened."

Kakashi had looked up while Iruka spoke, furtively eyeing his arms. His sleeves had slipped back down – _damn it_ – and he froze in place when Iruka met his gaze; brown eyes meeting a pair of blue and green, and Iruka himself was halting a moment to appreciate this fascinating view of heterochromic eyes.

"…so what happened?" Iruka finally spoke, and Kakashi still withstood his gaze; his breath strangely uneven, while fingers were bored into the waterproof cloth of the lounger. _How odd_.

  


 

\----------------

  


It had been an uncomfortable day at school.

Unsurprisingly, given that people had been coming to him, asking him about what happened, including people who had never talked to him before. Silence and glares were all they'd gotten from him -- and the whispering was especially loud and hard to ignore that day --but he would manage. He needed none of them; none of those bootlickers and rattlers who were only interested in you as long as you had something nice for them to gossip about.

"Ano... Kakashi-kun... about what happened yesterday... ," his homeroom teacher spoke in her usual, quiet manner, and Kakashi rolled his eyes.

_Not her too._

"If something like that ever comes up again... tell me. If you have any problems or concerns, you should let me know. I will listen and try to help you," she emphasized, but he didn't believe a word she said. It was his last class for today, he was tired, and she apparently had nothing better to do than keep him in the classrom after everyone else had already left --not like people were all over him and trying to pry already – to give him the _I'm-here-for-you-_ talk. _Exactly_ what he needed.

"Miss Hyuuga", Kakashi sighed, shaking his head. "I'll live. Unless you need to keep me here any longer, I'm starving, and I want to go home."

"Ah! I'm sorry, yes, I didn't mean to keep you. But as I said. If you ever need someone to talk, let me know, okay? If there are any problems, I mean... ," she repeated once more, and he sighed, one more time. _Jeez_.

Putting her off, he just turned around and left the classroom. As he expected, there were some classmates of him that had been hanging out near the room, obviously eavesdropping and spying on them. He simply stared at them, causing them to look away – and whisper, of course -- and left the school.

Home. Bed. _Now_.

  


 

\----------------

  


 

 _Splish, splat_. And again.

Forcefully, but gracefully, the figure slipped through the water; powerful moves launching him further and further, until he'd reached one end.

 _Splish, splat_. One more time.

The same spectacle was repeated once more, and Iruka took a deep breath when he reached the other end of the pool once again, his chest flat against the wall, broad arms finding support on it. He coughed out a gust of used air, his lungs forcefully longing for more and taking it, and the athlete lifted himself out of the water with ease just seconds later, getting to his feet and stretching both back and arms. A hazardous, sneaking pain crawled up his spine, and this was a sign for him to stop. Iruka didn't take any chances.

Taking the towel he had placed loosely on a diving board before, he slung it around his head and then swept droplets of water from his neck and shoulders. Looking up, he eyed the clock that was unstoppably ticking further, and he knew it was a good decision to stop now. The kids would be here in half an hour, tops.

He had made it some kind of a ritual to take his free time between classes to actually dive in and swim – while he had the pool to himself. And as always, he felt oddly recuperated after, albeit a little melancholic. _If only he didn't have to stop_.

Absent-minded, a hand found his lower back, slowly stretching, fingertips just barely scraping a gaping scar that covered his back; not too fresh, but not old, either. _If only_.

He sighed and then slung the towel over his shoulder, heading for the showers. He should at least get a shirt on before teaching, he thought, and a husky laugh escaped him as fingers traced black lines of a tattoo that wrapped on his right shoulder; flowers and waves spreading on his bi- and triceps, accentuating his toned figure quite nicely.

 _If they only knew_.

  


 

\----------------

  


 

 _He wanted to know_.

Things had settled down again a little, and thankfully, the summer break from school was close. It was that time of the year when his classmates started to fear their parents resentment over bad marks, but Kakashi never had those problems.

 _He really wanted to know_.

He sighed, rolling over to his other side.

 _But he didn't want to ask_.

He didn't want to ask Minato when they would be visiting the pool again. As things stood now, they would probably go there a week from now. He also didn't want to ask Kushina if he could just get there by bus, didn't want to offer to take care of Naruto, or promise that he wouldn't cause any trouble. He didn't want to seem too interested in going there -- in the end, they would sign him up for swimming lessons or worse – but the truth was that he really wanted to go.

 _He really wanted to know what it looked like_. But of course, asking him directly was out of question. And the Internet...

Kakashi looked over to the laptop and sighed. Nevermind the Internet. It's full of lies and stupidity.

He rolled around once again, growling into the sheets. _This was so strange_.

  


 

\----------------

  


 

"Hun, I think we need to talk," Kushina said with an unusually wary voice, approaching her husband, her face chiseled by slight horror, and Minato immediately started worrying.

 _Oh no_. What was it? Did something happen to Naruto? Or her? Or Kakashi, or...

"Please take a look at Kakashi's browsing history," she finished the sentence, putting the laptop on the table, and Minato gave her a blank stare.

  


 

\----------------

  


 

Sapphire and emerald irises teamed up for an odd, yet fascinating gaze; but in the end, Kakashi's look was nothing but a stare. He sat at his usual lounger – considerably closer to the pool, but still far away – and stared. At no one in particular, apparently, but he still stared. And it was a weird feeling. Not once, not ever had he imagined that he would _enjoy_ being at the pool, and he was still trying to figure out the exact reason. He had been restless, unable to sleep properly, and...

Finally, his stare found Iruka's back, and Kakashi bit his lip. There it was again. _Damn it_.

  


 

\----------------

  


 

"He's staring", Kushina muttered, her breath creating bubbles as she spoke, and Naruto immediately squealed, reaching out for the bubbles his mother created while talking. Minato simply laughed.

"You're horrified, aren't you? He's thirteen."

"He's still a child,“ she growled, creating bubbles again, this time on purpose. "And this is just--"

"He's a growing teenager, Kushina, and nobody should stop him from exploring his own body.", Minato interrupted her, and Kushina let out a quiet whimper. The blond himself was more amused than anything -- apparently, Kakashi had been searching for things like ' _tingly_ _and_ _warm feeling in the stomache_ ', and... pictures of ' _men_ '. Of course, this had made her world crumble, while this was a perfectly normal behaviour for a thirteen, almost fourteen year old boy.

Of course, the ' _men_ ' aspect had been quite surprising, but who was _he_ to judge? A flash of pain flitted over his face before he laid a hand on his wife's shoulder, trying to comfort her a little, but miserably failing, as she was muttering stuff like _"They grow up so fast,"_ and Minato let out a shy laugh. Naruto, however, was captivated by the amount of bubbles his mother was producing and was simply overjoyed.

No matter how much he tried to calm, Minato had noticed Kakashi's quite specific stares and had put one and one together, and he let out a silent, worried breath.

' _But, Kakashi,_ ' Minato thought, ' _he is probably not the best choice for you. So promise me... don't be too disappointed if your little crush won't work out the way you want it to. Okay?_ '

Again, a sad smile arched Minato's lips up in just the slightest way -- and then the family man was back at once, rubbing his wife's back and motivating Naruto to laugh whilst creating even more bubbles for him to squeal about.

  


 

\----------------

  


 

 _Enough_.

Kakashi couldn't handle the tension anymore, so he decided to leap forward, out of the lounger, and he approached the swimming instructor in question in a quite determined manner. For a boy this young and with such a fragile appearance, he had always been quite confident, something that had always been one of his better characteristics, even if it got him into trouble more often than not.

Bravely stepping forward – _he felt unstoppable –_ he ignored the prying gazes directed at him from the pool – _he never cared for those --_ and a courageous hand reached out – _this guy was quite tall, wasn't he?_

Curious fingers got a hold of a sleeve anyway – _Iruka flinched and stared at him so sharply that he could feel it –_ and dragged it away from a well-muscled arm.

 _There it was, he could finally see it_.

"I knew it," Kakashi breathed out in an accomplished manner, and his eyes were glinting with rakishness. Eyes traced the dark skin -- and more importantly, the color that was just underneath the surface, embracing the skin in an almost sensual way; like it had always been there and had just been highlighted by the ink, and the boy was completely captivated.

  


"—Hey," Iruka finally said, quite disbelieving of what had just happened. _Did he really...?_ Yes, he had.

"You're quite cheeky, aren't you?" He laughed then, gently urging Kakashi's fingers away with a nudge, stroking the cloth of his shirt even, and spreading it back into its original position; hiding the color he wore under his skin once again.

He looked at Kakashi, and his eyes were still glinting at him. _Oh boy_ , Iruka knew that glint. With a grin, he poked Kakashi's shoulder.

"Didn't expect you to get _this_ close to the pool." In fact, they were only a few steps away from the edge.

And with that, Kakashi stepped back, obviously realizing his proximity to the _malevolent_ water. Iruka chuckled, and turned to the pool once more, shaking his head lightly. He noticed Minato and Kushina stare, and simply shook it off in an attempt to signal to them that everything was fine. Kakashi's sudden assault had taken him by surprise, but it was nothing he wouldn't survive. A quick glance over his shoulder showed him that Kakashi was back in the lounger, but funnily enough, was still staring.

Yeah. He would definitely ask about that; Iruka was sure. And maybe the boy would open up a little more after this.

 _What a fascinating kid_ , Iruka thought.

  


 

\----------------

  


 

An ugly crackling sound – which he could even feel beneath his skin -- had taken him down, screaming. One, two kicks into the stomache; and the two assaulters quickly left.

He was panting, and he could hear screeching from the distance, yelling, and footsteps quickly getting closer. His vision was blurred; and so was his mind as the pain quickly took over his consciousness.

 _Cowards_.

  


 

\----------------

  


 

This time, it was Iruka's turn to stare.

The Namikaze & Uzumaki family hadn't been to practice for quite a concerning amount of time – for them, that is, since skipping practice seemed so unlikely for them -- and Iruka had been wondering what had been up. His mind, however, was reassuring him that it was probably nothing bad -- maybe just Minato working horrendous shifts as usual – who on earth wants to be a firefighter, Iruka thought -- and Kushina being busy with that abomination she called _cooking_.

If what he saw hadn't been so unusual and worrisome, he would've laughed; but as things were now, he approached the family, and Minato already waved at him with a small smile. He was holding the baby, and Kushina was slowly escorting a quiet recalcitrant Kakashi towards his deck chair, and he looked miserable.

"What happened?" Iruka asked as he focused on Minato again.

"Quite a long story," he just replied; the blond seemed tired, worn out.

  


 

\----------------

  


 

"--I can _walk_ , you know", was the angry hiss that came from Kakashi's lips, but Kushina didn't leave his side until he was settled down onto the lounger. She didn't even talk; she couldn't. Her anger would burst out of her the moment she opened her mouth, and she had to forceably keep her teeth together.

She was _infuriated_ , and thankfully – although she thought it was quite a annoying trait at this time -- she had a gentle husband who had been holding her back.

When she'd received the call that Kakashi had been delivered to the local hospital, her mind had been spinning, and the clearer it became that the cause of his broken arm were those _rowdies_ from before, the angrier she'd gotten. Maybe it was a good thing Hyuuga-san didn't tell her the adresses, or she would have paid them a quite unpleasant visit for sure.

Kakashi stared up at her as he settled down, his face depicting a silent ' _You happy?_ ' as he shifted a little, slowly becoming accustomed to the unusual state his body was in.

This was probably the thing that ticked her off the most. Kakashi didn't even seem to mind all _that_ much. Wasn't he _angry_ ? Wasn't he _annoyed_ ? Those little bastards had broken his **arm** , _damn it_!

No matter how hard she tried, this boy stayed a mystery for her, a closed book she couldn't peek into. But seeing how he pulled out a comic and trying to hold it in the most inconvenient way, _like nothing happened_ , she sighed.

He stared up at that sigh, brows furrowing, and she just shook her head and turned around, slowly going back to her husband.

This boy was just so weird.

  


 

\----------------

  


 

"Hey," Iruka hummed, approaching Kakashi, and the boy barely even looked up. "Want a drink?"

Iruka held a glass full of orange juice, and when Kakashi saw it, one of his brows quirked up a little as he slowly looked up to the tanned man.

"Really?", he replied, his voice cracking a little. _Great_. He coughed, and Iruka smiled an amused smile.

"Yes?" He replied, still offering the glass, and Kakashi eyed it suspiciously.

"You never offered me something to drink. No need to pretend to be nice now that I'm injured", he grumbled, looking away and into his book again, and Iruka finally laughed out, causing the boy to flinch a little.

"I'm beginning to understand why these guys broke your arm," the swimmer chuckled, pulling another lounger closer once again and sitting down next to him. "But I'm really not pretending. Take it. It'll do you good."

It was quite the astounding stare Kakashi shot at Iruka, and he was hesitant. Then, however, he slowly put down his book, sighing a little as he gave in to that winners smile, and reached out for the glass. Taking a sip, Kakashi relaxed a little; all this time, he hadn't noticed just how _tense_ he'd been. Murmuring a quiet ' _Thanks,_ ' he took yet another, bigger sip, and slowly leaned back, making himself a little more comfortable inside the lounger.

Silence ensued, but it wasn't uncomfortable. In fact, Kakashi felt a little more lighthearted than before. Was it because Iruka came to sit here with him? Because he brought him something to drink, or....

"Say", Kakashi spoke up once again, and he remembered when he had been searching about Iruka in general. In his mind, he saw the computer screen, saw the biographical data, and the ' _Retired_ ' that had kept his gaze for so long.

"--Have you ever been injured?" He finished the sentence, and Iruka's smile was gone.

Was this the right thing to ask? Of course, Kakashi had encountered countless of reports and journal entries, even videos of what had hapened to make him stop; but he didn't read them, didn't watch them. It didn't matter what all of them said.

What was really important was what Iruka had to say. Kakashi looked up, carefully eyeing the expression on Iruka's face. It was hard to tell what he was thinking right now, as his gaze wandered off; but at last, he seemed to have found his smile again.

"I have," was the simple reply, and a slight smile arched up his lips.

However, even a _kid_ could tell that it didn't reach the eyes.

  


 

\----------------

  


 

"Is this a joke?" Kakashi asked, but nobody was laughing.

Instead, Kushina was in her room, dressing up for a night ou, and Minato was smiling in a shy way, standing next to the unexpected visitor in the hallway.

"No, Kakashi, this isn't a joke," replied the blond, and one hand was still on Iruka's shoulder. The swimmer was completely quiet, only eyeing Kakashi's irritated expression, but a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

"Iruka will watch over Naruto... and you tonight. We figured he would be the most obvious choice as a babysitter, since you two seem to get along... well, _kinda_ "

Kakashi huffed and turned around, strolling to the kitchen. He was unsettled, but he couldn't quite tell why.

"Anyway, we're leaving soon" Minato spoke a little louder to still reach Kakashi's ears, then sighed.

"This kid, I swear," the blond shook his head, and Iruka laughed.

"Gonna be a fun evening; I can already tell."

"I'm sorry... already." Minato sighed, again, a wry smile on his lips, as he turned to pay his wife a short visit; evenings like this Saturday had been kind of rare, and he would definitely not let a stubborn teen get in the way of him and his wife enjoying a shared dinner without kids.

Iruka strolled around a little. He already knew his way around; he'd had been by to have tea or coffee with either Minato or Kushina – Kakashi had been in the house but cloistered in his room -- just talking or reminiscing old times. It was only when both Kushina and Minato came back, the redhead proudly showing off her precious dress, that Kakashi came back from the kitchen, clearing his throat quite soundly.

"And by the way", he started slowly, staring at both his parents reproachfully.

"You could at least _try_ to be a little less _noisy_ at night. The walls aren't as isolated as you think... if you think _at all_ , that is."

Minato had to drag Kushina away, uttering reminders about the dangers of missing reservations in order to remove her from the house before she took Kakashi's head off.

  


 

\----------------

  


 

"A-ano, Kakashi-kun... can I talk to you for a second?"

The boy stopped, looking back to his teacher, and he faltered. Her face was weirdly colored, and she bit her lower lip. _Did she have a fever_? His brows furrowed, but he decided to hear her out.

  


 

\----------------

  


 

Kakashi felt oddly hollow.

His gaze wandered across the pool, eyeing the blue, churning surface, and only barely really looking at the temporary inhabitants of the water. His hand tensed up, the little note inside producing a crinkling sound, and he grumbled lowly. He'd been asked to pass it to Iruka, and even though he knew exactly what the purpose of this note was, he'd still agreed to pass it to him.

  


_As if Iruka would accept her proposal_.

  


 

\----------------

  


 

Shortly after that, Iruka and Hinata began dating.

When Kakashi had passed him the note with her phone number seemingly out of the blue, Iruka had been curious. Apparently, she was Kakashis homeroom teacher -- she taught politics -- and Iruka was quite curious as to how and why she wanted to meet him that badly.

Turned out that she had been a great fan of his ever since she saw him swimming when she was younger, and although she was really shy and reserved, she didn't miss a chance to flatter him. Iruka found that he rather liked that.

He hadn't been in a relationship for quite a long time -- in the end, all he ever wanted was satisfaction, and he could get that without the hassle of owing someone else his life. But this time, he decided to just give it a go, to go out with her and have a coffee or tea of whatever she preferred.

She was pretty, cute, and even though she was really shy, she was smart; but that was to be expected from a teacher, no? On top of that, as shallow as it might seem, her built left almost nothing to be desired.

And somehow, it kind of worked out.

  


 

\----------------

  


 

 **Numb**.

His body – _and heart --_ were completely numb.

How could this happen? _When..._ _**Why** _?

  


 

\----------------

  


 

It was when Kakashi stopped visiting the pool that Iruka started wondering. But even after talking to Minato and Kushina, he couldn't quite make sense of why the boy didn't accompany them to the pool anymore. Maybe it was just a matter of time, Iruka thought. But then again, part of him felt like Kakashi had actually started to enjoy visiting the pool; and that was why Iruka worried the most. Did something happen?

Minato's sad, knowing smiles didn't help him much, either, but he decided to let it go. _For now_.

  


 

\----------------

  


 

As seasons went by, Kakashi was almost done with middle school, and it was during this time of his life that a deep melancholy of passing, of saying goodbye rose within him. Deep inside him, the idea of what he wanted to do with his life crystallized; and he decided not to let go of it anymore.

  


 

\----------------

  


 

It was yet another Saturday evening in summer when it happened.

Iruka had been visiting quite frequently, and as always, Kakashi had been avoiding him without even saying a word.

This time, however, it was different. This time, both Minato and Kushina were going out again, and were muttering to each other: ' _Are you sure we can leave them alone?_ ' ' _We have to, things can't go on like this, Kakashi has to face reality.'_

Kakashi didn't want to hear it. _Screw reality;_ _screw this_.

He heard a knock, but he didn't answer.

"Can we talk?" Iruka's muffled voice came from the other side, but Kakashi still ignored it.

_Go away. Please..._

"Listen, I don't know what I've done for you to hate me so much,“ came the voice, and Kakashi flinched. "...but please. Talk to me."

Anger, frustration, disappointment – _about what? you're a kid, silly --_ all these things tore at him inside, stirred his feelings and his mind up, and he suddenly couldn't take it any longer. Kakashi got up, strode to the door and opened it quite forcefully, staring at the man.

"... ah," was the only, kind of surprised, reaction Iruka would let out to that.

"Hate you?" Kakashi spoke up, his voice trembling, seething. "I don't hate you."

"Then why do you..."

"If only I **COULD** hate you" Kakashi yelled, taking a determined step forward and making Iruka retreat in surprise. "It would make my life so much easier! Do you have any idea how I feel? No, and let me tell you, you don't know a **thing** about me!"

  


 

\----------------

  


 

Finally, Iruka understood.

Kakashi's voice was breaking, and Iruka just stared at the teen. _Shit_.

There was a short, awkward period of silence while they both just stared at each other, a pair of sapphire and emerald close to tearing up. Kakashi was panting a little, and his form was trembling.

 _Shit. Shit_...

  


"You've been too busy fucking that stupid, _busty_ teacher to notice-- notice that... ," Kakashi hiccuped, and Iruka wanted to reach out, but didn't.

"--I love you, you _asshole_ , you know? _I just love you so much; I can't help it._ "

Tears finally, _finally_ , streamed down the teen's face, and Iruka swallowed. Kakashi tried sweeping the tears away, cursing, but to no avail as they kept coming, and his stare was back on Iruka, awaiting a reaction, a reply, _something_.

And he got it, his reply.

  


"Sorry."

  


 

\----------------

  


 

It was that time of the year when the next session was starting. Countless of pupils who had finished their last school year were eager – _more or less, at least --_ to start anew. There was chatter all around when Kakashi's classmates had gathered in their new classroom; they had finished middle school and were just about to start their senior classes.

However, there was someone missing.

  


 

\----------------

  


 

"The... United States?" Iruka breathed, and his eyes widened.

"Yes", Minato replied thoughtfully, rubbing his neck. "He insisted on participating in that exchange program. He... was dead set on it."

Iruka swallowed as he felt _something_ , some kind of guilt crawl up his spine. Their farewell hadn't been a pleasant one, and Iruka was still struggling with the how and why.

Minato sighed, breaking the silence between them.

"I just thought I'd let you know. Since, you know, you've been... kinda close."

_Although he refused to see you until the very end._

Iruka simply nodded.

"Thanks," was the curt reply. "How long will he be gone?"

"Uh... about two, maybe three years. Unless he wants to attend college over there, as well."

Iruka hummed pensively.

"He'll be fine, he's a stubborn kid", the swimmer then said, in an attempt to cheer up his old friend, and Minato laughed wryly.

"Thanks, but I'll probably keep worrying until he's back home safe."

At that, Iruka let out a quiet chuckle.

"Yeah, that's just how you are."

  


 

\----------------

\----------------

  


 

4:03 AM.

He couldn't sleep. His dreams were too vivid, his desire to just go back was too strong. Or maybe it was his desire to claim what was his... _or at least what was his in his heart and mind_.

He pulled out his phone, blinked sleepily against the flashing light of the screen. There was a tab called ' _Family,_ ' and he opened it. It showed the names and numbers of Minato, Kushina, and even Naruto who had just recently gotten his first mobile phone, and he had been spamming his brother with pictures ever since. It made him smile, but he scrolled past them, and found _his_ name. He tapped it gently, and a message window popped up. But instead of typing, he lay there, staring at the screen and blank message box.

With a quiet breath, he closed both the message window and his phone again, and sighed, turning around.

No use. Too far away.

 _And as if he would still remember._ After all that time, Kakashi had been trying his best to avoid him, too.

He sighed as one of his hands, absentmindedly, caressed his right shoulder.

 _If they only knew_.

  


 

\----------------

  


 

"I'm back," was all he said when they came to fetch him at the airport, a confident grin on his face – _although he was a little tired, thanks to jetlag –_ and after just mere seconds, he was buried under his little brother and mother alike.

  


 

\----------------

  


 

"Tell us everything," Kushina inquired, and Kakashi burst into laughter.

"Right, as if that wouldn't take ages," he replied, and she pinched his cheek.

"Well, start with things we don't know?“ Minato suggested, and for the first time, in what felt like ages, his smile was honest and relieved. In fact, they had grow quite a bit; after all, Kakashi had been gone for nine years.

"Uhmm," Kakashi hummed, gaze wandering up to the ceiling. "Obito cried when I left?"

Kushina chuckled, and Minato smiled.

"Who cares about that!" Naruto finally yelled, sitting on his beloved brother's lap, protesting against the seemingly boring facts and questions. "I want to know if nii-chan got to become the president!"

And for the first time in ages, the house was filled with laughter.

  


 

\----------------

  


 

Minato found it quite hard to believe that it had indeed been nine long years since Kakashi left for America. With modern messengers like Skype and all that, he was able to see and hear his son's voice whenever they could get around the timezone differences -- or whenever Kakashi needed someone to talk to. At some Christmases, even, Kakashi was able to come back and celebrate with them.

So yes, it was quite hard to believe that he had been gone for almost ten years -- _because he really hadn't_. As much as Minato had feared to lose him, to be completely cut out of Kakashi's life, it hadn't happened, and he was relieved.

But there was something else that made him blink twice whenever his kid came back home to visit -- and most recently, when Kakashi finally returned.

 _He looks just like him_.

Minato couldn't help but remember the times when _he_ was still alive. _Would he ever get over this_?

"I know what you're thinking," came Kushina's voice, and it was low and almost soothing. Her arms slung were slung around her husband in just seconds, and she hummed quietly into his neck as she pulled him close.

"Believe me, I know. I knew him too. But this isn't Sakumo, this is Kakashi. This is your son."

After a moment, Minato placed a firm hand over hers.

"I know. And I'm happy to have him back."

  


 

\----------------

  


 

As years went by, he and Hinata had drifted apart. The initial excitement had soon faded away, due to different reasons. It was no parting in strife, however; but it was a well-needed one.

After all, Iruka had never been the type for relationships, anyway.

  


 

\----------------

  


 

"Ah, good to see you!" Minato smiled at his old friend, letting him in. It was a cold winter day, and they hadn't seen each other in quite some time.

"Hey, thought I'd drop by and say hello to Naruto," Iruka replied, a weary smile on his lips.

"Oh dear," Minato chuckled. "You look like you need a coffee." To that, Iruka simply yawned, and Minato laughed.

"Alright, I'll get you some."

"Don't be deceived. I'm going out with the boys later," Iruka muttered, stretching a little.

"You're such a daredevil", Minato yelled from the kitchen, and Iruka chuckled, casting off his jacked and flopping down on the sofa. _Yes. This is what friends are for_.

He closed his eyes and was making himself comfortable when he heard steps, which he thought would belong to Kushina. Slowly, he opened his eyes again and sat up to greet her, mouth already opening to form said words...

And he froze in place, eyes widening when he recognized the familiar silver tuft of hair.

Iruka couldn't help but stare at him.

 _Shit_.

  


 

\----------------

  


 

The air around them was crackling with excitement and desire as they were driving to the club Iruka was about to meet up with his friends tonight, and they both could feel it, Kakashi was sure.

 _After all these years_ . He almost laughed. _Damn_.

His younger self hadn't really noticed this, but Iruka was _hot_. Almost burning hot. And he smelled so nice. He just wanted to...

  


 

\----------------

  


 

He pressed him against the restroom wall with little memory of how they'd gotten there,, urging himself against that covetous body. Needy and steamy kisses were exchanged as a hand _in just the right place_ made Iruka moan into the kiss. _Fuck_...

They didn't say much. In fact, their lips had been occupied with each other, breathing needy kisses and licks into each others' mouths, and it was _hot, way too hot_.

In a hasty momentum, Kakashi spun him around and rocked his hip against Iruka's, and he couldn't help but shiver and gasp into the other's ear. He'd wanted this for such a long time, it was almost impossible for him to resist now.

 _These pants, I swear. Too tight_.

...and off they went.

  


 

\----------------

  


 

It was hard to grasp, to fully understand what had happened, and why it happened. That hadn't been an act of love; no, that was just fulfilling each others' needs and desires, and Kakashi didn't regret it a single bit. He wanted to spend his first time with Iruka, as silly as that had been, and so it was okay.

' _Are you sure?_ ' Iruka had asked him. ' _I don't love you._ '

But it was okay. Because deep down inside, Kakashi knew he was lying.

Or maybe that was just his young heart trying to trick him.

Again.

  


 

\----------------

  


 

There was still tension between them whenever they met each other, and Iruka couldn't quite tell if it was good or bad. All he knew was that Kakashi had grown to be a fine young man, and that he was scorching hot.

His friends had been making fun of their sudden disappearance into the men's restroom that night, but he had ignored them. It wasn't important. They all knew why they left, they all had seen them undressing each other with their gazes, and Iruka didn't even try objecting.

Only Genma had taken the time to call him about it, and had asked him if he was really okay with how things went. Genma, however, was one of the few who knew about the stubborn kid from back then, and he was someone who got to know the whole story about it. So naturally, he had approached his friend to ask if he was really sure.

But no matter how hard he tried, Iruka couldn't come up with a proper reply.

"I don't know," he muttered to himself, still trying to solve the puzzle.

"I really don't know."

It was such a weird situation for him, too, and only now, after his vision and mind weren't as steamy, he started wondering.

Wondering about little things like, ' _Why did I let him do_ _**me** _ _?_ '

After all, that was the first time he had given someone else the lead. He didn't want to hurt him.

  


But why? He'd never cared before.

  


 

\----------------

  


 

Kakashi had a hard time accepting that he still hadn't won his heart. But he was strong, so he would manage.

He didn't go through all this to shatter once again; to flee and avoid and ignore Iruka for the rest of his life. No way.

This time, he would fight. This time, he wouldn't let him go.

Fingers clutched his shoulder, and he breathed out deeply.

  


 

\----------------

  


 

"A teacher," Kakashi said proudly, and Iruka looked at him in surprise. Didn't Minato tell him?

"Certified and of age," he added with a grin, and Iruka blinked. "That's why I took so long. But I _fucking finally_ passed all my exams and I'm now certified to kick those little asshole's arses."

And Iruka laughed. Yeah, that suited him all too well.

  


 

\----------------

 

 

 

Saturday night, and Kakashi knew what was coming.

Both Minato and Kushina were so dolled up, it was almost painful to watch, but he bit his lip and refrained from making wry comments. If they felt good about this and how they looked, he didn't want to crush their confidence and hope. After all, they had to dress up; it was a costume ball, wasn't it?

They still looked stupid nonetheless.

"Alright, Kakashi", Minato finally said, adjusting his hat. "We're leaving. It's probably going to be late, but I don't need to tell you that, do I?" He grinned, and Kakashi simply shook his head.

"I'll take care, no worries. No gaming until 2 AM. No midnight corn flakes. No sleepovers. I get it dad, now leave already before I fall asleep to your lectures."

Minato pouted.

"As bold as ever."

Kakashi grinned.

  


 

\----------------

  


 

"No sleepovers, huh," came a husky voice, and Kakashi shuddered. Iruka breathed right into his ear, making him wince and twitch and squeal lowly, and Iruka was more than amused to be the reason that Kakashi made those sounds. He was right on top of Kakashi, half undressed because he'd shed his shirt quite quickly. Kakashi's gaze and hands were all over his toned chest and arms.

 _The arms... there were even more tattoos now, amazing, and they looked so good on him_.

"You're excluded from that rule," Kakashi wheezed, and when Iruka dipped his tongue into Kakashi's ear, he twitched helplessly under the broad form.

Kakashi may have grown to be a little taller than Iruka; but the latter had a well toned and impressive figure nonetheless.

"Please..." The the yelp that escaped Kakashi's lips, and Iruka sank deeper to nibble and lick his neck, tanned hands finding their way over cumbersome cloth, removing it in a skilled manner. Iruka stopped, hazel eyes roving over the white skin under him. Cautiously, he proceeded to stroke his chest, watching Kakashi shiver and tremble, and he smiled.

...until he noticed something.

Quietly, both hands found Kakashi's right arm, and he turned it just a little... and faltered.

Dark, delicate feathers spread over Kakashi's shoulder and upper arm, and Iruka couldn't help but stare. _Were those_...

"It's a wing" came Kakashi's uneven voice, and Iruka swallowed.

"Only one," he concluded.

"Yes. Only one,“ Kakashi repeated.

"Turn around."

Kakashi obeyed, and he turned around, presenting his back to Iruka. Aside from the ink on his right shoulder, his back was clear and just as fair as the rest of Kakashi's skin.

The wing, however...

The swimmer couldn't help but carefully touch it, tracing its lines with almost fond movements. He then leaned down, placing a kiss on it and mumbling, " _It's beautiful._ "

  


 

\----------------

  


 

"Young man, what the hell is **that**?"

Minato was loud and sounded disbelieving. Whenever dawn arrived, things went haywire. Not only did Kakashi have a sleepover, no, but Minato also decided to crawl into the _wrong_ bed after returning home and visiting the bathroom in the middle of the night.

Iruka was curled up on the other side, averting both his gaze and eyes, mildly irritated by the noise.

Kakashi was still half naked, with only boxers and a shirt on, and was trying to soothe his old man, even though ' _oh shit_ ' was written all over his face.

Minato, probably not even completely sober and with hair all over the place – _just like Kakashi's, really –_ sat on the ground in front of the bed, and stared at his son.

"A... ... sleepover?" Kakashi replied, cracking a small smile.

  


 

\----------------

  


 

"You're overreacting," Kushina yawned while she was preparing breakfast.

Minato groaned.

"No, I'm not. Why didn't he tell us anything about a tattoo?"

"Because he's old enough to decide for himself. Besides, tattoos are sexy," she shrugged.

Minato shot her a disbelieving glance. It was no secret that she had some kind of a crush on Iruka when they were younger, and it showed. Ruffling his own hair in what seemed like despair, he sighed once again.

"Unbelievable."

  


 

\----------------

  


 

A tattoo.

Iruka was looking at his own tattoos, tracing them with his own fingers, and humming under his breath. While his own _collection_ had grown considerably over the past years, he'd never expected to see something like that on Kakashi's skin; not even after his fascination with Iruka's tattoos back then.

"Heh..."

He still saw it clearly in his mind, delicate lines that formed a beautiful wing, which feathers stretched out to Kakashi's biceps, revealing just the tips whenever he wore a t-shirt. And it seemed like Minato didn't know about that one.

Again, Iruka chuckled, putting on a shirt. Kakashi surprised him more often than not.

 _How very likable_.

  


 

\----------------

  


 

Just one wing. That was the plan.

Why?

Because he would be strong enough to grow wings and fly all on his own. That was the first step. Thus, there was only one wing.

The second step...

Kakashi smiled.

There would be another wing, hopefully. With just one, he'd never be able to fly properly, now would he?

  


 

\----------------

  


 

Seasons changed, but his heart didn't.

Eventually, he gave it another try. He revealed his feelings, after all the precious time he was able to spend with him after he returned. Because in the end, he really loved him, and nothing and nobody could ever change that.

And maybe, just maybe...

  


"--I think... I love you too."

  


 

 

-fin

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Reading this now, and considering we're still plotting for this, I (or even better, Liv) might consider writing up more for this AU. But... don't take anything for granted, we're lazy bums. If you have any questions however, put them in the comments section, maybe?  
> Oh, and if someone noticed the familiarity... this fic is a tiny little bit inspired by Shinedown's song "If You Only Knew". Like, just a bit.
> 
> \--Other than that, thanks a bunch for reading, and I hope you enjoyed the story! \o/


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